This week I tried two simple experiments at Funds For Learning.
In a one-to-one with an FFL staff lead, I set a five minute timer and gave him the floor. No interruptions. My job was to listen. Not to prepare a reply. Not to fix. Just listen.
In another meeting, I set the purpose up front. This conversation is about hearing you out. I asked questions. I listened. I asked clarifying questions. I listened again. No problem solving. No “here is what I would do.” We ended with clearer next steps than many sessions that try to solve everything in one go.
There is a paradox I keep bumping into. The more I know, the more tempted I am to talk. Experience invites quick answers. Yet the more I understand, the more I still have to learn. If anything, experience raises my duty to listen. It does not lower it.
Listening debt is real
Moving fast creates a quiet cost. I call it listening debt. It builds up when calendars are full and leaders do most of the talking. You still get the status updates, but you miss the meaning. People stop bringing early warnings. Meetings end with nods and different interpretations. Execution slows while everyone works hard.
Listening is not a courtesy. It is a performance tool. When people feel heard, they bring better data. When the real issue is named, teams move faster. When I take in the full picture, I make cleaner calls and we avoid rework.
What I heard because I stayed quiet
Five uninterrupted minutes changed the tone and the substance. I heard context that would have been lost in back-and-forth. I learned which constraint mattered most. I learned where a teammate needed clarity from me, not more ideas. None of that shows up if I am busy composing my response.
Practices that help me listen when I think I know
These are small moves that are working for me right now:
- Set a five minute timer and give someone uninterrupted airtime.
- Ask one open question at a time. Then be quiet.
- Follow with one clarifying question. Still be quiet.
- Reflect back what you heard in a single sentence. Confirm the core point before you respond.
- End with owner, next step, and date. Clarity without a lecture.
- Finish with, “Is there anything I did not ask that I should have?”
What listening is not
Listening is not agreement with everything you hear. It is not abdication. It is not endless exploration. Listening is how you earn the right to decide well. After I listen, I still set direction. The difference is that people understand the why, and they own the how.
A simple two-tool kit you can use today
- The five minute window. One person speaks. One person listens and takes notes. No interruptions. When time is up, ask, “What matters most in what you just said?”
- Two questions before advice. Ask one open question. Listen. Ask one clarifying question. Only then offer a view or make the call.
How I check if it worked
I keep this simple.
- At the end of the meeting I ask, “Did I hear you right?” and let them restate the takeaway in their own words.
- I watch for less rework and fewer follow-up emails to “fix” the plan.
- I listen for early warnings. If people surface risks sooner, the culture is getting healthier.
Why this matters to our mission
Our work serves students and libraries. That mission deserves our best judgment. Judgment improves when we slow down long enough to hear what is real. Tone of the leader, tone of the team. If I model attention, our team models attention for each other and for our clients. That is how performance improves and trust grows.
The leadership move
Pick one conversation this week. Add a five minute listening window. Ask two questions before you share a view. Reflect back what you heard. Then decide. My bet: you will hear something important you would have missed, and the work will move faster with less friction.
