In today’s world of hyper-speed communication, instant answers, and perpetual urgency, it’s easy to believe that reacting quickly is always best. But over the years, I’ve come to appreciate a different kind of power — one that’s less visible but just as transformative: the power of a calming presence.
Last week, I shared some thoughts about the importance of asking better questions. But what good is a great question if we don’t have the patience — and presence — to truly listen to the answer?
At Funds For Learning, we talk often about the GuideMark of Calming Presence. It’s a simple but profound reminder: “As professionals, we cannot freak out in the midst of stress.” Easier said than done, right?
The Day I Slammed the Door
I once lost my composure in a meeting. Slammed a door. Raised my voice. Not proud of it, but it happened. The worst part? What I needed to communicate was actually important — but my tone made it impossible for anyone to hear the message.
Thankfully, the colleague on the receiving end of my frustration remained calm. He didn’t escalate. He didn’t retaliate. And because of his steady presence, we were able to reset the conversation the next day. That one moment of maturity on his part salvaged something that could have unraveled further.
Why This Matters to Leaders (and Learners)
Whether you’re leading a school, launching a startup, or managing a busy household, the ability to remain calm — especially under pressure — is not just admirable; it’s essential. It sets the tone. It enables learning. It clears space for creative thinking and better decisions.
A calming presence doesn’t mean you ignore urgency. It means you respond to it with intention. It’s the difference between reacting and leading.
Three Practices for Cultivating a Calmer Presence
- Breathe before you speak. A few seconds of stillness can change the tone of an entire conversation.
- Focus on the “why” before the “how.” When we root ourselves in purpose, our response becomes more grounded.
- Practice empathy on purpose. Not just for others — but for yourself, too. Grace under pressure starts with self-compassion.
We don’t always get to choose the circumstances. But we do get to choose the presence we bring into those moments. And when that presence is grounded in calm, the people around us feel safer, more confident, and more ready to grow.
And isn’t that the real goal?
Call to Action:
This week, consider where your steady presence could make a difference. Who needs less urgency and more clarity? Where can calmness serve as your greatest asset?
