Recently, I had a meeting with a colleague who was upset with me. The reason wasn’t the news itself, but the way I delivered it.
Here’s what happened: I had an important update to share. Ideally, it was the kind of message that should be delivered over the phone. But I was mid-flight, without the ability to call, and I didn’t want to wait. So I sent an email.
From my perspective, I thought I was doing the right thing. Better to send something than nothing at all, I reasoned. But the impact was different on the receiving end. My colleague read the words without my voice or tone to soften them. The news felt cold and transactional. And with no space to ask questions, they were left to fill in the gaps on their own.
The Lesson
Looking back, I realize there wasn’t much I could have done differently in the moment. But there was something I could have done next: I could have scheduled a follow-up.
Even a simple line like, “Here’s an update I want you to have now — let’s schedule a call tomorrow so we can talk this through together” would have changed the whole experience. It would have replaced isolation with connection. It would have created certainty instead of speculation.
The Leadership Principle
This moment reminded me of a simple truth: communication isn’t just about the message, it’s about the sequence.
Sometimes we can’t deliver news in the best way right away. Circumstances, timing, or logistics get in the way. But we can plan for what comes next. A quick follow-up — even just setting the expectation for a conversation — can protect relationships and preserve trust.
Practical Takeaway
- Don’t just send the message. Pair it with a plan to talk.
- Close the loop quickly. Shorten the gap where people are left to interpret on their own.
- Protect the relationship. Because leadership is about connection, not just communication.
Next time you’re forced to send a message in a less-than-ideal way, ask yourself: How can I follow this up so the person knows I care as much about them as I do about the information?
